The Art of the Crappy Dinner Party

Years ago, in the throes of toddlers and careers and all the ‘stuff’ that goes along with ‘adulting’ my girlfriends and I realized that we weren’t seeing enough of each other.  It was too hard and too much trouble.  

One summer, it casually started.  Sherwood Music on the Green.  Every Wednesday at Stella Olson Park, whomever could make it would come.  Blanket, kids, and food for a picnic.  We’d spread out and the kids would run amok.  They danced to the music. They asked to be pushed on the swings. They rolled down a big grass hill giggling and collecting grass along the way.

We would enjoy food, music, friendship and the greatness that is a Willamette Valley summer.

First, let me rewind a bit.  This was back in the early 2010’s.  Friends brought together through our husband’s fraternity brotherhood in college back in the 1990’s.  Yeah, we’d spent time at weddings together and at baby showers and first birthday parties, but it wasn’t until those sun soaked evenings that true friendships blossomed.

After a few years of Music on the Green, we changed it up a bit and started rotating dinners on Thursday nights throughout the summer. The summer of 2016 was magical.  Basically a standing date every Thursday evening between houses in Tigard, Tualatin, Sherwood and Happy Valley.  

The wives would load up the car with kids and something to contribute and the husbands showed up after work.  We ate. We drank good wine. Our friendships (and the friendships between our children deepened).

There were two problems with this arrangement. First, once summer ended, we knew we couldn’t keep up the weekly pace.  Second, there was something non-intimidating about our summer dinners.  They were outside or in the park.  No need to stress about menus or a completely tidy home. But the thought of moving the party indoor gave it a more formal feel.

Wanting to keep our little tradition alive, I read an article originally by Kelley Powell detailing her Crappy Dinner Party. Voila. Exactly what we were looking for.

The rules to the Crappy Dinner Party are easy:

1. No housework is to be done prior to a guest’s arrival.
2. The menu must be simple–host creates main dish and everyone else contributes the sides.
3. You must wear whatever you happen to have on. Sweats & comfy clothes are encouraged.
4. We drink good wine.
5. We may eat off paper plates.  

We decided on a standing schedule for the fourth Sunday of each month. This has remained the case for the past six or seven years. I’ve lost count to be honest.

Our kids are all growing up and starting to fly the nest, but if they are in town, they too join in our crappy dinner fun. 

We spend time at the table sipping wine, eating delicious (not crappy) food and discussing life.  The good and the not so good. Jobs. Aging parents. Kids. Our triumphs and our shortcomings.  No judgment is passed, but a lot of laughs ensue.

My heart feels full after these evening gatherings. Over the years, we’ve also become more than just friends, but family.

I tell people about our Crappy Dinner’s and they laugh, but I don’t know if they truly grasp how wonderful it is. So if you’re missing friends and fellowship, but the thought of ‘entertaining’ stresses you out, grab some friends and give it a try. I promise that you’ll love it and it will leave your heart full.